When I look back at life, I can picture myself as a shy and less confident girl; who got herself embarrassed in front of the whole school assembly; who trembled with fear in front of a crowd; who always hid behind her barriers waiting for the odds. But I drove myself forward to come out of my shriveled self. I did create a brand-new person. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to achieve all these wonderful things. Maybe it’s because of my thirst for achieving more. I am never fully satisfied with the outcomes. I want to attain near perfection in every bit of me.
There are some things that we miss in this so-called journey- life. You are born with some talents. When you discover and give perfection to it, you can master it. But there are some latent talents within us; somethings that we never imagined that we could do. You really need to listen to your inner self to bring it out. This might or might not be true. This is purely my concept. Something of this sort happened to me. I realized I could write poems overnight, out of blue. I still remember that day when my life got completely transformed. A few of my friends had planned to go on a small trip and they had invited me. When I asked my grandparents for the permission (as I was staying with them), they refused. I pleaded. But the answer was still no. I was so angry at them for not letting me go. They said, “This place is so far away. None of your parents are there with you. You are a girl. What if something happens to you?”. I could understand their concern and helplessness. But I was angry at the society, at the world, at those senseless men. I was crying. I couldn’t sleep that night, even though I tried. I thought about every girl like me trapped inside some shells for somebody else’s fault. I still remember. I was sitting on the floor and weeping. I could do nothing. I couldn’t control my rage and I just wanted to let the beast out. I got hold of a pen and a notebook and scribbled the most amazing poem I have ever written. That was my only way of protesting. In the morning, I read it again and again and I couldn’t believe the fact that I’ve written this. I never knew I could.
That was how I discovered my passion for writing and that words could be my solace and a way of expressing myself. Sometimes I get stupefied by my own writings. Later when I read them again, I ask myself, “Did I write this? Just can’t believe it.” I am not boasting but I wasn’t a writer material. I feel like it just comes to me and I note it down and in the very end it turns out quite well. I started writing more and created an Instagram blog themalavikable, where I posts my thoughts, poems, drawings, paintings and writings.
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After a few months, I got an opportunity to be a writer in an online magazine, The Magzone. Since then I have written and published a handful of articles and listicles. Later, I also started my own blog, www.themalavikable.com where I have been publishing articles and blog posts. My driving force and the biggest inspiration in my life have been my mom and dad. They never stopped me from following my dreams. My brother has always been my mentor. He has published his first book, Soul Dance which is an anthology of poems. Currently I am working on a novel. Becoming an author has always been one of my dreams and I really look forward to the day when I would write and publish my own book.
Life is the biggest mystery. From the moment we mark our existence on Earth, there begins the journey of unfolding each mystery. We go on solving mysteries not realizing that life itself is the mystery of all times. Well, life is so powerful that it can even alter the universe. People generally believe that fate decides our life and whatever we plan will not happen accordingly. To those people I say, “Fate will play its game, but it’s up to us to play against it and ensure our win”. Lamenting over the bad things that has happened to us and calling it fate will not help in life. Life is a journey: A journey of uncertainty with certain goals.
Life is never smooth and calm. There are times when I feel that the lucky charms are no longer with me and no miracles can happen anymore. I feel that a part of me is lost or is melting away. I want to solidify it and merge it with me. But I feel helpless. Sometimes my mind becomes idle. Then the coordination between my body and mind is disrupted. My mind gives an order while my hands and body do totally different things. I really feel awful at these times. Other times, I feel like I’m running out of time or I must attain a lot of things. This lifetime is not enough for me. I anticipate; I want to write, study, paint, get a job, be successful, be happy and much more. The list gets little bigger. What am I going to do? I get confused. When I think about my future, it gives me goosebumps. These deliberations are part of our lives. The important thing is to discover the real you. The beauty comes when you transform yourself from ordinary into extraordinary.
Also Read: Journey of finding myself and my happiness
This biggest mystery-Life is so hard to deal with. It is difficult at times; harder than you could imagine. Finding solutions to some of the problems and the obstacles faced are like cracking coconut shell with your hands. Only God knows what’s in store for me. Any of these lucky charms, good omens or miracles need not be with you. But I am nobody to talk about their existence. There might be people believing in it. Some others will be opposing the whole idea. Maybe these charms and omens are just an aid to help you believe in yourself. Whatever the case may be, it’s you who is the miracle worker.
As said by the Alchemist,” When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”. Nothing really matters if you put your heart and soul to your deeds.