Joy of overcoming life’s fears

Joy of overcoming life's fears

My dream of becoming a model started when I was a kid. I used to dress up as a model in the school fancy dress competition and since then dressing up was my favourite thing. I did not even know what it meant back then, but I slowly did realize my fascination towards it and boy, fell in love with it. All I ever wanted to be. If anyone asks my classmates what they aspire to be, they would say doctor or engineer but my thought process was clear i.e. a model.

But this dream lost its way when I became an introvert as a girl who was too scared to talk in front of a crowd. A girl who was too shy to walk in front of people who was so scared of being embarrassed that she gave up on her dream. I still remember the day at school when I was asked to do a ramp show which I did but was too conscious and stumbled upon a few steps while ram walking. It made the audience burst into laughter, which of course were school kids and it in turn made me have a breakdown at stage. This incident made me think that the next day I would be a laughing stock of the whole school, which actually did. That incident made a serious hit on my self confidence.

For years, I forgot about modelling and even if I do remember I couldn’t get through that fear that got into me and felt helpless for not able to do anything and let go of my such a favourite thing, i.e., networking, being with people. Be it as simple as being part of my college fashion team. I just couldn’t do it, even though every second of it made me feel like hell. My self-confidence had hit rock bottom and seeing a mere crowd gave me a panic attack because the memory of feeling humiliated was so fresh in my mind that taking one step towards auditioning and trying felt impossible.

I wouldn’t say I have achieved much, but the joy of overcoming one’s fear is delightful.

By Almighty’s grace, I have some amazing well-wishers and friends, friends who stood for me time and again and have been my support system who tried to motivate me but my fear had taken a tight grip upon my self-confidence and wouldn’t just go. But an incident changed the whole dynamics of my self-confidence which was a boon in disguise, is when at college there was a need for girls who would get their photo-shoot done. I went for it, without overthinking, as I was already back to wall when it came to my self-confidence and there would be no-one around during shoot but the photographer and a team member of the event. After the shoot I thought how wrong I have been to myself by not allowing what I love and did not even try to overcome my fear. I felt like I wasted my time by not trying and if I don’t do anything soon I might loose more time which I did not want. So I got a portfolio shoot done for myself and started auditioning and got rejected many a times, but I took it as learning, as I got to experience the insights what is behind the camera and learn some technicalities.

Then came an event that boosted my morale for real, I went for Times Fresh Face auditions, held at my college, where I went on stage and sang, which, of course was not pleasant to ears, but I tired and in my very first attempt I won Miss Happy Skin and a gift hamper. I was really happy as this was the only morale boost I was longing for. At my second event, I danced and almost fell off the stage but I did something I thought I couldn’t ever do, i.e., perform in front of huge crowd.

I am still trying to become a model by taking small steps at a time. One of them being opening a fashion/ modelling Instagram page. Its just a start and hopefully many more to come and I have a long way ahead of improving myself and defeating my fears.

I wouldn’t say I have achieved much, but the joy of overcoming one’s fear is delightful and for the feeling to go on, I am ready to fight all battle. Bring it on Life..

Ankita Kohly

A little about me: I have been born and brought up in Bangalore. I am a media student currently doing masters in media communications in commits. My passion is modeling and I have auditioned a couple of places and now started my insta page about it.

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Dream Quotes

The path from dreams to success does exist. May you have the vision to find it, the courage to get on to it, and the perseverance to follow it.
— Kalpana Chawla


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