Being too aware of my words I find myself hesitant to write. Perhaps you might not see the problem here, but it’s a price for being too raw and personal in my write-up today.
I’ll briefly introduce myself to you guys, I am Shitika P Tyagi, P is the initial of my husband’s name as I recently got married. I hold a master’s degree in resource management and design application from Delhi University and had been teaching under Delhi Government from past 4 years. As I told, I recently got married, 2 months and counting, I have shifted to Bangalore and had to quit my job. I am a tall and sleek girl with average looks [laughs] and I have always been this way. When I was in college, I was scouted by a talent and celebrity management agency in Delhi. I was much convinced by them, but the struggle was real because this industry needs a lot of explanations to get into with family. After about 3 months of continuous discussion, I finally signed up and my agency managing me and my work well. Like every other girl, I loved fashion too and I was so happy. There are pros and cons of whatever we decide and do, so in my case people talked a lot – negative, which impacted and influenced my confidence to do more. It made me slow and lethargic to explore my potential and my curiosity to recreate myself. Since my childhood, I have been a creative and artful person. I felt like it’s over. Things were holding me back. I gave some time to myself.
You see, there is always a door. A clear one! There is a door for every side of life and the corners we close ourselves in are completely imagined. We tell ourselves so many stories but most of them are fictitious. We narrate boundaries, but they are just that, told and imagined and embellished; until leaving becomes the ending we never imagined. So, we stay inside the stories of our lives, even when we shouldn’t, and I stayed.
I stayed for years because I made myself bound to it, trying to manage both my job and fashion business together without putting my heart into it. I was doubtful and unsure, I could feel the pressure inside me, holding me back and keeping me distant to my dreams. Everything was a mess. I was not at all happy then, just doing things without getting something out of it. What I wanted is to escape from my real job and do things where my heart is. See we all know the worth of doing that one thing that changes our life, it’s important to decide and work hard on that one thing that challenges and shapes you socially, financially, spiritually and mentally. You are what you do. You are the reflection of your work.
I read a book THE SECRET by RHONDA BYRNES, you guys must know about it. It talks about law of attraction and how it works. The book says thought are things! When you focus thoughts on something you want, and you hold on to it, you are in that moment summoning what you want to the mightiest power in universe. When I understood this concept, I felt the change within. I started focusing on my thoughts and keeping me balanced with my work. After ages, I felt good.
We all are precious, every single one of us. We are magnificent human beings who have been given a gift from the almighty- that’s the ability to create our own lives, without any limit.
Somewhere amid these exhilarating years I grew immensely passionate about fashion business and as a consequence of amalgamating my best interests I founded my blog and I started as an Instagram influencer as an outlet of my fashion hedonism and now it has become a huge part of my life. Something I work on daily to document my daily lifestyle, an outlet for my editorial creativity and simply, my love for all things.
Today, it’s all summed up in one term and that is INFLUNCER or BLOGGER. I have been fortunate enough to work in some of the leading fashion, beauty and lifestyle projects as a model which I have been credited in several highly recognised magazines and publications.
This article is also a consequence of me getting into what I do, as I have always loved writing. All just because I attracted what I always wanted, I believed in myself. I have put a step forward to finally work on, wholly heartily.
I wrote in one of my posts on Instagram –
it’s an irony- when you are young and beautiful, you are insecure with low self-esteem. When you get older, the beauty fades but the self-esteem grows, and it feels so good, but the feeling is mixed with the nostalgia of those fresh-looking years.
This I now realise when I have grown up. I was not confident of my dreams which made me clumsy to take my own decisions but after years, I grew into a much mature and responsible person with a high self-esteem. Now I take decisions, and everyone respects them. It’s a new phase for me.
I know I must start from the scratch, do a lot and build an empire out of my dreams. Though I am married now, and my husband is super supportive of my decisions. He gives me my right to introspect myself and take on a rigid decision. He has been a positive influence on me since the time I met him. I am glad that I can pursue my dreams carrying myself in one place.
I would conclude this write-up that in life we will have challenges at every step, people will pull us down for no reason, they will try to influence us and convince us that we can’t do anything in life because they haven’t achieved anything from their lives. I know how good I am, some people will always be jealous of me. I can’t help it.
Also Read: You define your own life
Cut down the negative influences or people from your life. Negate all of them. What we need is to pull ourselves together and push us closer to our dreams. We can only work and work hard.
If I must sum up my life in one sentence, I must say I AM GRATEFUL. I am grateful because throughout this whole journey of ups and downs, I have evolved in different phases of my life in a much better way. I feel, the only obstacle is YOU. Self-doubt and comparison is truly heart-wrenching and can make you want to quit from what you desire. This past year, I’ve gotten to a place where I feel confident inside and believe in what I’m doing, and it’s been an incredible feeling.
Thanks for listening me out. Have a grateful day!
PS: Have a look on my Instagram handle @bugshidoes