Starting from wanting to take up commerce but ending up taking science, to eventually doing English (H) from a prestigious college in DU, but giving that up for pursuing Electrical Engineering, to then landing myself a job in a leading software firm, to then dancing between MBA or M.Tech, and then quitting the job to go for M.Tech and then ending up taking a job of Assistant Professor in one of Delhi’s top engineering college.
The whole decisions and decision making history of my life has been fluctuating throughout and I could never really put my finger on exactly what I wanted. Till date that is. Because the fun part is still isn’t over.
After working for 4 long years as a professor, where I must mention, the students adored me, I eventually got bored of the job, and left it too to follow my childhood dream and passion for fine arts.
Funny and unconventional, right?
It might be. My life can be a format of anecdotal comedy.
Coming from a middle class family of the 90’s, it was difficult to be anything else other than a doctor or an engineer, and I chose later because clearly, being an artist was never an option. When I got myself into DU, in the second cut-off, I was happy for having a slice of the culture of DU but in my mind ‘You freaking studied science for two goddamn years and you cannot go for an arts subject now’ was doing rigorous rounds. It was definitely a prestige issue then. THAT WAS A WRONG DECISION.
I made my peace with engineering then, and was happy with mentoring future engineers until I figured, this was never the life I wanted. Hopping from one career to another, hoping to have that peace of mind, where creativity and calmness met, I found art, which I by the way, followed since I was a child.
When I look back, I see no decisions are bad decisions, because when you take them, you’re way too smart for your age and those were right at that time. You learn from every mistake and every wrong turn you take.
In the words of Khaleesi, I want to break the wheel. The wheel of boredom, the wheel of monotony, the wheel of burden.
I will not be modest here and blurt my heart out, I always wanted to be in limelight. I left my software engineer job because I couldn’t stay confined behind the walls of a 4 by 4 cubicle, glaring endlessly at the computer screen. I wanted interaction, I wanted to be known. I had this want of to be a somebody. Taking up teaching was probably the first step in the ladder. I was known, I was acknowledged, but teaching is repetitive, there was no scope of creativity. I love teaching, believe me, I still do, but I need so much more from my life, and there’s so much to learn and do and there’s so little time to achieve that.
I probably started a lot late to begin with, but I know this is where it goes and takes me with it.
Dreams are never supposed to be small. Like I’ve been always told, you aim for the stars, so you land on a tree, maybe.
You may be an author, or an artist, or a teacher, or anything you want, but to feel alive, never let your dreams die. You work for them, you run for them, you just never stop. It might be a series of disappointing failures, but you tell yourself to not give up ever.
Believe me when I say, dreams are what makes you sane. If nothing, it’s your story that makes people wonder what a personality you are.
We all have that potential to make it big in whatever stream we are. Don’t let the unseen shackles confine you in a box. It’s all in the head, your success, or your failure, everything is about that thought that first comes up. You just have to see it. That’s it, and you’re through.