Average! That’s what my life began with and went on for a long time. Not as exciting as you see on Instagram, is it?
Average in school, average at studies, average at talking, average at looking, average in every aspect of life. Have you wondered what it’s like to be average at everything and still think highly of yourself? That was me. Despite being a totally average person, even below average at times, I thought I had a lot of potential. I excelled at dancing and vocabulary. I followed dance as my passion for years until I willingly gave up on that dream. That started a string of ‘giving up’ or ‘quitting’ incidences. I gave up on singing, I gave up on my career, I gave up on every opportunity that came my way. Why? Because it was the easiest way out. I despised taking efforts, going out of they way to make things happen for me. It just felt like too much work.
I wanted to sit back and let things work out for themselves. I trusted in fate and destiny. I believed one day things will turn around for me and I will step into a new, different world where I’m famous, good-looking, adored while having the world at my feet. I was living in my own dreamland. Make no mistake, I was still kicking away every opportunity and making excuses to not work hard for getting what I wanted.
Soon I completed college with a degree I didn’t even want. Only because everyone else was doing it and I didn’t want to try something new for the fear of failure. I somehow got a job in that field but I never felt satisfied with it. I knew I wasn’t good at it so I didn’t even try to put efforts. I fell for distractions at every turn. I had trouble concentrating on work, focusing on a task.
Ultimately, I quit and moved to the US to escape from all the responsibilities and make a fresh start. I loved fresh starts, mostly because that meant getting rid of unfinished business and avoiding all the people who judged me. I started a food blog, did food photography, wrote recipes. However, I quit that as well. I came up with a load of rubbish excuses to escape that route. I sat around and mopped for months about things not happening to me. I thought I was trying my best, giving my 100% and still, I got no recognition. It felt like I had hit rock bottom. Dead end!
It took me another 3 years of sulking, giving excuses and feeling dejected, to finally understand why I never succeeded at anything. ADHD! I suffered from Attention Deficiency Disorder. My world came crashing down when I learnt about my ADHD. It explained so much. I always wondered why I was being lazy and not getting work done. Why I couldn’t focus and finish what I had started. Why I left everything undone and preferred fresh starts.
I feared failure! But ultimately it caught up to me. I failed any which ways. The day I realized that, I made another fresh start, the last one! I began working my butt off. Never took anything for granted, not even myself. Never assumed things will happen but instead worked until I started making actual progress. I began by drawing up a routing and following it through without letting myself quit at any point. I started tracking my habits to develop consistency and perseverance. I planned every day of my week ahead of time. No matter what happened, I forbade myself from skipping my routine, avoiding any task on my to-do list. I listened to motivational speeches, read through inspiring books and blogs. Created a vision board for myself. I can’t tell you how much beneficial this has been for me.
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Now every day, I wake up with great energy and enthusiasm. I look forward to all the tasks planned for my day ahead. I tick off the tasks that I completed successfully which gives me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. I feel great every time I achieve a milestone because it means I’m one step closer to my goal. My goal of becoming a writer!
Some day I intend to publish a book. I’m not saying it will be a great book worthy of awards. But just having a book published with my name on it, will be a great start to my journey.
I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Nothing was handed down to me. And I’m glad it wasn’t, because I would’ve never known the sweet pleasures of struggle. Had I received success easily early on my career, I probably wouldn’t have felt this joy in the process of achievement. I would’ve never had the experiences that I have now, on this path. In a way, ADHD made my average life, special.
Through all of this, one person that never wavered in his support is my husband. He believed in everything I did. He saw my potential when I couldn’t. He pushed me to work hard, cross my threshold and chase my dreams. I don’t think I could’ve done any of this without his constant support. He has been the perfect partner I absolutely needed on my journey.
When the day comes for people to ask me what made me successful, I will probably say 3 things – my husband, hard work and grit. If you have this, you too can be successful.